2 years ago I posted this to my blog:

It was 5 years ago, maybe to the minute, that I sat in an office building that was full of candles and tears. I dont think I cried in that office building though. I cried that day. I was confused and uncertain.

Earlier in the day when I was in yearbook, I remember my friend Kenny coming up to me, with little detail and little certainty, telling me a friend of ours was in a car wreck. He told me he thought it was Tylor Tayrien.
I remember going on shaky, and optimistic as usual that all would turn out fine, but it didn’t.

I got word later that day that Tylor didn’t make it. His car had slipped on ice and crashed.

My yearbook teacher, being a good friend as well, let me go home early. It was high school and that sort of thing wouldn’t usually fly, but Mrs.T had a grasp on things. I remember crying at school when I found out, and seeing some other friends as I was going to leave the building, tears in their faces too.

I remember being at home and crying there for a while, and then just being silent.

I had to tell my little sister when she got home from school. Telling her may have been harder than hearing it myself.

But 5 years ago, maybe to the minute, as I sat in that office building I was quiet. Everyone was quiet, or sniffling, choking back tears. Candle lit faces didn’t speak. I remember thousands of hugs that night. Different hugs. They were… sincere. Hugs that said “I’m hurting and need to feel you, to know you’re here.”

I didn’t know how much my life would change in the next 48 hours.

So it was 7 years ago today that my friend Tylor passed away. It was at his funeral that I realized how living for myself would ultimately get me nowhere.